A manifesto on therapy.
I believe that personal growth work is hard, and (unfortunately) it has to be hard to elicit lasting change. This doesn’t mean I condone self-flagellation (because I definitely don’t), but I will not shy away from the hard things, because I know that those hard things can and often do produce beautiful new things.
I promise that I will not lead you somewhere that I have not and would not go myself. I have been in my own intensive therapy for many years and I believe that all therapists need to be in therapy to do the best work they possibly can. I take care of myself so I can be the best version of myself for you.
Healing work is not just about talking about what’s not working for you. I will encourage you to read books, articles, listen to podcasts, and will occasionally assign relevant homework to help concretize the things we talk about in sessions so you get the most out of our time and work together.
I believe in being authentic. This means I keep it real. I do not sugar coat things. If I notice a pattern, I will lovingly “call you in,” to discuss what I am seeing and get curious about where it may come from so we can figure out a new, better path forward. I cuss sometimes, and I encourage you to as well, if that’s something that feels right for you. I wear jeans, t shirts and sneakers to the office. We don’t gotta be fancy here. Come to sessions in whatever feels most comfortable to you.
I believe in being respectful and accountable to each other. This is a relationship after all. If I am running late, I will text you and let you know. If I am sick, I will let you know so we can make necessary accommodations. I expect you to do the same. If you can’t make it to session, all I ask is that you let me know. Feedback is incredibly important to me. I want to hear about what is working, and what isn’t. If I say something that upsets you, please tell me in whatever way feels comfortable to you as soon as possible. I will occasionally check in with you about how you are feeling about the way things are going, but if you have something on your mind, please don’t hesitate to tell me.
I don’t have an agenda for our work together. If you are struggling and don’t feel like you are making progress, you don’t have to worry about me jumping ship. I am here for the ride. So often the most powerful work that is done in the therapeutic relationship is someone holding space for us without expecting anything in return. After years of walking side by side with clients on their individual journeys, I know that in time things shift and we can often get more clarity. But clarity doesn’t happen because we will it into being. It happens in its own time and in it’s own way.
Our work together will be driven by you. What I mean by this is that this is YOUR journey. I may ask you if you want to explore something, but if you say no, I will leave it alone. I may ask you again in the future if you want to explore it again, but if you still don’t want to, I will respect your wishes. So often when traumatic things have happened to us, we felt powerless and taken advantage of. In order to heal those wounds, we have to give the power and control back to you. This may mean that we explore the same topic for months or longer before tangible changes take place. That’s okay. Change is a process and it definitely isn’t linear.
I promise that I will practice within my scope of expertise. If something comes up in our work together that I don’t feel comfortable assisting you with, I will provide you with appropriate referrals to trusted colleagues that can better help in those areas. That process can be collaborative (you seeing them one week and me another) or if needed, I will transfer care to the appropriate person so you get what you need most.
I am committed to taking good care of myself. I take multiple vacations throughout the year and only work as much as I feel I am able to without sacrificing quality of care. As a result, I see a limited number of clients at a time and will turn away new clients if I feel I am not able to give quality service. I regularly attend trainings to continue to hone my skills and provide quality care and services to you.
I am an active person and love lifting weights, hiking, gardening, and playing with my dogs. I love to cook, eat good food, travel and learn new things. I am an avid reader and lover of podcasts. I believe that spending time outside and with people who love and support us can often be some of the best free medicine. If this sounds like someone you would like to work with, I would love to hear from you!